all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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