I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
