It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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