kristin has been a bad kristin
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
