walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
