last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
