i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
