How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
