I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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