Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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