Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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