Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
