she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
she looked like the before picture.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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