There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
