our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
