I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
