nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
i think my cat just said my name.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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