just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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