He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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