Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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