Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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