i jhust puked up my retainher.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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