holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
