U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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