Define "chronic" masturbator.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Randomize
