the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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