I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
