i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
