Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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