I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
