Me. At least after what I've been through.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You ate ashes out of my bong
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
