So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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