..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
