oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
