Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
i believe in u and ur pee
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
