CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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