Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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