I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
