Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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