She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
