community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
only if we run a train.
done.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
