I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
