The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
