i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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