Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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