wat bout pragnant strippers??
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
