so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize