I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
