I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
