i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
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