In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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