Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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