Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
