Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
