dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
We need to get me chipped asap
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize