Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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