your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
