I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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